(LifeSiteNews) — An abortionist who is suing Kansas over a pro-life informed consent said she felt like she was “being punished by God” for performing abortions when all of her quadruplets died after she aborted two of them.

Dr. Traci Lynn Nauser, one of a group of abortionists seeking to overturn the Woman’s Right-to-Know Act, was recently forced to unseal a court document in which she recounted her reaction to the death of two of her children after she had two of their siblings aborted.

“I felt like I was being punished by God — and I’m not even a religious person — for doing abortions,” Nauser recalled in a deposition. 

“But I know it was the right thing,” she insisted about the abortions, adding, “I did not feel like I had a choice …” She had stated that “the successful outcome rates” of a quadruple pregnancy “are extremely low.” Neonatal deaths of quadruplets occur at a rate of about 30%.

Nauser told how she came to conceive quadruplets as a result of her attempt to get pregnant with fertility assistance injectables. Her ovaries “overresponded,” releasing four eggs.

“So now I’m pregnant with quads,” she recounted, saying that due to the risks of a quadruple pregnancy, she felt she “had to make the decision — or I made the decision with my husband to reduce it down to twins, which would be a much more successful likelihood pregnancy.”

In other words, she decided to abort two of her children. In selective abortions for “multiples” pregnancies, potassium chloride is injected into the hearts of the unborn babies to be killed, and the remains of the children are left within the womb.

Three hours before her 20-week scheduled ultrasound, she felt a “massive pressure” that she knew meant her amniotic sac had dropped. After she was rushed to the hospital by ambulance, doctors attempted to save the babies but were unsuccessful.

Nauser continued:

Medically, to me, they’re fetuses. To me, as Traci Nauser, as the person that was pregnant, they were babies. They had names. Jordan was a girl; Drew was the boy. 

Jordan delivered, had a heartbeat, and I held her till she died in my arms. Drew, thank God, did not (have a heartbeat) when he was born. So I didn’t have to have that trauma twice. I grieved their loss.

Live Action shared that she hangs up Christmas ornaments for these children every year and cries.

Nauser notably named and grieved the loss of the two children she planned on having but did not name or intentionally remember the two babies she aborted. She admitted to depression after the abortions of these children, but she does not regret the decision.

“And just because I had depression and grief doesn’t mean I would — regretted it, or would, if put in the same situation, choose a different outcome,” she said. “It just f***ing sucks — sorry — the situation medically that I was in, and I had to make the best decision that I could,” she stated, according to Live Action.

Regarding the entire tragedy, Nauser said, “I am a better doctor, I think, because of all of this. I get it.”

She went on to have two children through in vitro fertilization, a gravely unethical process that is estimated to kill as many as 93 percent of the embryos it creates.

“I wouldn’t have them had I not been through everything that I’ve been through,” Nauser said.

The abortionist’s joint lawsuit challenges Kansas’ Woman’s Right-to-Know Act, by which women seeking abortions must be provided with materials that inform them of the physical and psychological risks of abortion, and which describe and depict, with photos, each stage of fetal development.