Failed self sufficiency gives way to soaring because of the Lord

I spent the first half of my life believing in my own talent and abilities rather than in God. I was a self-made man with decades of deep expertise in engineering, and nothing seemed too difficult for me.

I had held many senior management positions in both Singapore’s government-linked organizations and multinational companies. Soon after, my ambition to soar higher inspired a dream to build my own business from the ground up. I was determined to be my own boss and own a world-class company that I could be proud of.

Losing it all

In 1999, I finally took the leap. Together with my friends, I co-founded a company specializing in healthcare and telecommunications engineering. I was excited about my newfound dream, but little did I know that this was all part of God’s plan for me to meet with him.

I saw my dream crumble and my partnerships fail.

Within the coming years, I saw my dream crumble and my partnerships fail. Differences among the partners began to arise, with each one harboring a different vision for the company.

The tension caused the venture to halt, and after a few years, our project was declared a failure. With that failure came a great financial loss and, worse, a shattered sense of identity. Was I not the man who excelled at work? I was good with people, adept at business, and experienced in engineering. What had gone wrong this time? What would other people think of me—the once self-made man who could accomplish everything? I kept all my worries in my heart and never shared them with anyone, not even my wife and daughter.

My career was in the depths, and I lost all confidence in myself.

2002 was the darkest year of my life. My career was in the depths, and I lost all confidence in myself. I had reached my limit. Burned out and depleted, I packed my bags and brought my wife and daughter to Irvine, California, to visit my sister. Directionless and aimless, I needed a change of environment and a new perspective on life.

Meeting God at my worst

I was not a Christian then, but I had been invited to church by my Singaporean friends before. My sister in Irvine was a Christian who regularly attended New Life Christian Center in Orange County, and she graciously invited me to Sunday services every week in the hope that I would know the Lord. I went out of politeness, thinking that meeting some new friends could bring a change of scenery and mood.

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles...

Little did I know that once I stepped into the church, God was going to knock on my heart and I would soon meet him. That Sunday, the pastor of the church, Pastor Andrew Chen, shared a sermon from Isaiah 40:31: “…but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.”

Even the strength of eagles comes from the Lord. I did not have strength in myself, and my strength had never been truly mine.

That verse hit me like a ton of bricks. Only the Christian God could give me strength. I’ve always thought myself to be as capable as an eagle, but this verse taught me that even the strength of eagles comes from the Lord. I did not have strength in myself, and my strength had never been truly mine.

If I ever needed to stand again and find my footing in this world, if I ever needed the strength to go on again in my career and provide for my family, then only God could give me that. I had no strength in myself to do it, except through the Lord. When I lost all my strength, God gave me his strength to go on.

With this, I accepted the Lord and asked him to be the Lord of my life. I also made him my provider, rather than relying on my own strength. I was then baptized in New Life Christian Church in Irvine, California, and soon after, I had a newfound strength to continue on. I no longer dwelt in my own plight but courageously confronted all my fears with the strength of the Lord.