I’ve always assumed tornadoes gather speed over flat land, then lose velocity in the hills. When a tornado siren blasted, I was in the middle of boiling dumplings for Hungarian Goulash. Strange day to cook stew in the heat of July, but there I was, ladling dumplings into bowls. My family knew about the impending storm and headed to the basement. Not me. I was counting on the hills to divert any tornadoes. Plus, I needed five minutes for the potatoes and carrots to simmer. Yet then came the wind. I ran to the basement, abandoning my theory about hills and tornadoes, along with the stew and dumplings.

A tornado is a disorienting phenomenon. Midwesterners crouch in basements to evade a tornado’s destruction, and in that moment, as I crouched, I pondered how beams splinter and barns collapse in the wake of a tornado. As I thought a bit longer, I realized this may be a good metaphor for gossip and the damage it also wreaks on a community. Like a tornado, gossip splinters and destroys. In theory, gossip would lose velocity among people in the church, yet gossip descends quickly. We participate more than we like to admit. Perhaps our theories are faulty, just as my theory about hills and tornadoes deceived me. If your words have ever splintered trust, here are some thoughts on navigating gossip and its aftermath.

Awareness

I admit, I was neither aware nor prepared for a tornado. While a city surrounded by hills diverting a tornado makes for a lovely picture, the science behind a tornado’s path includes variables like air temperatures and wind conditions, which are not always predictable. Gossip can take shape through variables like venting and oversharing. Sometimes gossip sneaks its way into prayer requests.

It’s sad. We want to do better. We want to hold our tongues, and then we don’t. Sometimes we’re not even sure if a conversation qualifies as gossip. Suppose someone frustrates you, and you talk about this person when they aren’t in the room. Have you grieved God in doing so?

First, begin with awareness by focusing on what’s true. The gospel says we were once far away and have been brought near. God considers us “holy and beloved” (Col. 3:12) and reshapes us to embody “compassionate hearts.” Stay aware by remembering Jesus took sin’s punishment at the cross and gifted God’s nearness through the indwelling Holy Spirit.

The Spirit gives you the desire for kindness and goodness toward people created in God’s image. Now, rather than reckless speech, self-control is supplied, preparing you in the thick of a conversation to lean away from criticizing or mocking. Love and gentleness will cause you to grieve gossip’s destruction.

The Spirit also prompts you to repent when you say hurtful things. Repent with awareness that you are united to Christ and secured by God’s love. You can expect God’s love to change you. As you are aware of your fellowship with God through Christ, your desires are redirected, and you find bad-mouthing your neighbor doesn’t entice you like it once did.

Rebuilding

After a tornado, disaster-relief teams rebuild towns. Tornadoes touch down and destroy, and these teams are ready. Members from my church denomination stayed in western Iowa for months, focusing their efforts on a small, local church as a source of rebuilding.

After gossip splinters trust, rebuilding may take months or years. When our words offend, we’re likely to notice lingering effects long after we’ve apologized. We need a greater source than our own strength to rebuild. Just as the Holy Spirit prepares us to be compassionate people in our conversations and postures, the Spirit also equips us to rebuild.  God has promised to one day rebuild and restore everything, and we are connected to God in this eternal story through Christ.

This is a connectedness that author Jonathan Dodson says causes us to be “a faithful presence” where “we seek the welfare of our towns and cities” (Witness, p 33). Proximity to God sensitizes us to “the deep and complex needs” of our friends and neighbors.

As representatives of Christ, we can reflect what’s true of God and people created in God’s image. When we imagine ourselves as actively participating in God’s restorative work on earth, we’ll view our words and actions as worship. The ways we speak about our coworkers, neighbors, and family members are neither arbitrary nor meaningless because in Christ “we are part of that restorative work” (Kristi McLelland, The Gospel on the Ground, p 52),

To picture this simply, think of the places you’ll inhabit this week. When you sit around a table or a campfire, when you go to a doctor’s appointment, when you walk to your mailbox, in all these moments, you’re accompanied by the living God who rebuilds.

Specifics

It can be uncomfortable navigating conversations that turn toward gossip. Avoid the path to gossip that begins when we overshare or meddle. “The Bible has some words to say about meddling and interfering in matters that aren’t our business,” says Lindsey Medenwaldt in Bridge-Building Apologetics (p 73). This includes talking too much (Prov. 20:19), jumping into arguments (Prov. 26:17), and pointless chatter (1 Tim. 5:13).

Perhaps the image of a tornado causes you to reflect before those venting sessions with a friend or with a small group Bible study. Reflection brings awareness, rooting you repeatedly to God who is generous and kind. Allow reflection to lead you to prayer, which will transform you to see people as Jesus sees them. Again, Dodson writes, “when we stay close to the Lord in prayer, we begin to see others as Jesus does” and “Jesus’ compassion transforms us into a faithful presence” (Witness p 38-39).

Remember, your connectedness to God is secure in Christ. The gospel is the most compelling antidote to gossip, so if you’re struggling to discern what qualifies as gossip or struggling to feel gracious toward those who frustrate you the most, don’t despair. Rehearse the gospel’s good news. Jesus has brought you near when you were once far away from God, and in Christ, God is making all things new, including your posture toward others. You can be confident he is sanctifying you just as you can be confident in his patience toward you.

After the storm, and after bowls of Hungarian Goulash, my family and I went for a drive. We saw no indication of a large tornado having passed, although small tornadoes sometimes account for splintered trees lying on the ground in nearby neighborhoods. It’s worth considering the metaphor because words damage similarly.

Gossip is a tornado. Just as tornadoes rip through order and goodness, likewise, gossip splinters, disregarding grace and distorting God’s love. Be aware. Stay rooted. Jesus reconciled you and his compassion is changing you. When gossip touches down and you find you’ve participated, be the first to confess and repent. Rebuild by reflecting what’s true of God. The Creator and Redeemer is crafting you to be a “faithful presence.”