My wife Killy is radiant, elegant and ageing with such effortless grace that even time seems too polite to touch her.

Recently, we were in a café when a wide-eyed waitress approached her and asked, "Excuse me . . . are you a famous actress?"

Killy smiled. And our daughter-in-law said, "Yes!"

A few days later, we asked someone for directions. The woman looked at Killy and said, "When’s the baby due?"

People say the most astonishing things.

Killy didn’t miss a beat. With the poise of an actress and the timing of a comedian she replied, "Ah yes, that’s a food baby. Due any minute. We’ve named it . . . Moussaka." She added, "At 63, a pregnancy would make global news."

We laughed. People say the most astonishing things.

Some words build you up. Some trip you up. Others shove you down a flight of emotional stairs without warning or handrails.

And I’m not immune either! Here are eight actual things people have said to me:

1. "How did you get her?" (How did l get to marry Killy.)Translation: You’re punching above your weight.

   Implication: You don’t deserve her.

2. "You’ve done well for yourself."Translation: I’m surprised.

   Implication: Didn’t think you would accomplish much.

3. "You’ve aged well . . . considering."Translation: You’re old, but not terribly old-looking.

   Implication: You were expected to look old.

4. "You clean up well!"Translation: You usually look a mess.

   Implication: This is an improvement.

5. "You’re brave wearing that."Translation: I would never wear that.

   Implication: It doesn’t suit you.

6. "You look tired."Translation: You look awful.

   Implication: You look worse than usual.

7. "You’re so down to earth . . . for someone like you."Translation: I expected arrogance.

   Implication: People like you are usually full of themselves.

8. "I didn’t expect you to be funny!"Translation: You looked too boring to be engaging.

   Implication: Low expectations.

The power of the mouth

Let’s be honest, the mouth is powerful. It can bless or bruise, heal or hurt, build or break, and all in a single breath.

Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) says, "The tongue has the power of life and death." Words don’t disappear, they lodge. They shape memories, frame identity, and echo long after the sentence ends. So how should we use this remarkable muscle behind our teeth? I think our words fall into three categories:

1. Words that build