The Lost Art of Listening – Ten Minute Therapy Podcast

In today’s fast-paced culture, where everyone seems to be talking but few are truly listening, the need for intentional, Christ-centered connection has never been greater. In this episode of the ActsSocial Podcast, host Chance Olivas sits down with Andrew Rogers, licensed counselor and host of 10 Minute Therapy, to unpack the role of listening, selflessness, and the gospel in counseling and everyday relationships.

Why Shorter Isn’t Always Better, But Necessary

Andrew opens up about his experience on TikTok, where even 50-second videos felt too long for viewers:

“We learned, okay, with TikTok, we have to cut things to about 15 seconds. That’s about all you get to get a piece of truth out there if someone’s even interested in hearing it.”

This realization inspired the idea behind 10 Minute Therapy—providing concise, approachable, and impactful teaching that cuts straight to the heart.

Listening vs. Talking

One of the major takeaways from the conversation is the importance of active listening. Chance recalls his pastoral experience:

“Most of counseling isn’t talking, it’s listening… 90 plus percent of it is just letting them pour their heart out to you.”

Andrew agrees, noting that often in counseling sessions, people find relief simply by being heard:

“The number of times I’ve heard someone say, ‘I feel better already’—it’s almost comical. There’s such relief in just being listened to.”

Selfishness at the Core

When asked what the most common issue he sees in marriage counseling is, Andrew doesn’t hesitate:

“Honestly, it’s just selfishness. It might masquerade as many different arguments or conflicts, but if we boil it down, inevitably that’s there.”

Both Chance and Andrew highlight how sin often stems from selfish desires and how society’s “you do you” message only deepens division, anxiety, and depression.

The Biblical Difference

Unlike secular counseling, which often focuses on meeting each other’s needs, biblical counseling goes deeper:

“The goal isn’t to change your spouse. It’s to submit your own heart to the Lord and allow Him to sanctify it.”

Andrew explains how scripture points us toward sanctification—pruning selfishness, pride, and division to bear more fruit in our relationships.

Community vs. Isolation

The conversation also turns toward the dangers of isolation in our modern culture. Chance connects this to ActsSocial’s mission:

“We created a platform to drive community—to highlight local churches and local businesses—because isolation leads to anxiety and depression. We were never meant to do life alone.”

Andrew reinforces this with both biblical and psychological truths, pointing out that even secular science acknowledges our need for empathy, compassion, and connection.

Final Takeaway: Talk to Someone

As the episode closes, Andrew encourages listeners to take a step toward connection:

“Talk to a counselor. Talk to your friends. Be connected to people. That’s what we’re called to do—bear one another’s burdens and fulfill the law of Christ.”

He also points listeners toward Anchored Virtual, a platform for biblical counseling, and his own practice at Grandview Counseling.

And yes, you can find his 10 Minute Therapy podcast anywhere podcasts are streamed.

Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ten-minute-therapy/id1816307606 

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@TenMinuteTherapy 

✨ Key Highlights:

• Active listening is a lost art—and one of the greatest needs in relationships today.
  
  

• Selfishness, not circumstances, often lies at the root of conflict.
  
  

• Biblical counseling emphasizes heart change through Christ, not just communication skills.
  
  

• Isolation feeds anxiety and depression—community brings healing.
  
  

• Practical next step: open up, talk to someone, and don’t carry burdens alone.

  
  

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